No… I just suddenly forgot that for the past 29+ years I have had yellow skin and slits for eyes.
Just did 11 hours of work & now the higher ups who wrote the bloody piece says they had it all wrong and we have to start it again…. and it has to be finished tonight for a tomorrow ship.
What the eff. How hard is it to plan something correctly and execute the project in an effective manner. It’s amazing how many incompetent people are in a position of power.
Yeah….
It’s not everyday a person comes face to face with the way that they die. It’s usually a glimpse… a random happenstance that is so fleeting, that most won’t even give a second thought to it.
For me, it was a lucid dream. Well, nightmare more like, but however you would like to call it, it was death knocking on my door.
Now I know what you are thinking. “You don’t know what you are talking about. I’ve had those dreams before as well.” But have you really? True, everyone has had that fear dream… falling to your death, drowning, attacked by a ravenous animal, being chase, run over, and a million other dreams that is your brain projecting onto your consciousness that something is wrong.
This wasn’t one of those.
This was my consciousness being ripped from my current body and placed in the future me. There are loud noises, people screaming and bright lights. People in scrubs move past my vision, frantically trying to save my life. And for the next hour, I am poked and prodded, zapped and screamed at. Where I am in this body, knowing, seeing, smelling, hearing and feeling everything that is going on but have no verbal or motor function to communicate that I am here and I am alive.
I want to cry.
But I can’t.
I scream for dear life.
But no one hears.
It echoes though every part of my body. Rattles every bone. Makes me even go deaf for a moment.
But they can’t hear.
So the Doctors give up.
The paddles stop shocking me, the machines are turned off and everyone in the room stops moving. Time has frozen for a moment. Everything is silent.
Am I at peace?
No.
For a brief moment, I hear the crying and screaming of into the distance. It becomes louder and more clear and what I can only image are the doctors trying to hold the person back. But she powers through and for a moment I see her until the Doctors pull her away.
It was my mom.
Oh God, I saw my mom. And she hasn’t aged much since I last saw her. And that then and there, it hits me… I die young.
I died young.
A Female surgeon, blonde, pretty and someone that exudes a sense of compassion leans in and moves her hand across my face and things suddenly go black.
So I wake up with the pain and throbbing in my chest where the bone saw cut through… insides feeling in disarray from the doctors hands rifling through my organs, my fingers still tingling from the electric shock and the tears that I wanted to cry, running down my face.
And from that point on, all I want to do is curl up in the corner and not face the world.
At least, not for today.
Not for today.
Barney’s Playbook from How I Met Your Mother.
Awesome.
